Humble Parenting

I grew up in a household and culture where your parents were always right. There was no such thing as a wrong motive, action or advice because they always knew best.
I vowed that I would never be prideful with my kids, and then I actually had them.

My oldest is only six and painfully insightful. I do not remember the situation, but I remember being angry about something and feeling justified in my actions until my daughter proved I was wrong. My instinct was to save face, but then I was reminded of the kind of example I wanted to set for my daughter when she is confronted with her wrong actions. Is this going to be a do as I say not as I do kind of household? There is nothing like being humbled in front of a six year old, but it was good medicine (although not very tasty) for my soul.

Sometimes as parents, we feel like we have to be this stallworth example to our children, but often the way we go about trying to paint this appearance can be detrimental. We often want to be like God to our children in the image of perfection, and when they call our bluff or we find ourselves in situations that expose our humanity we gird ourselves with pride. We might not say that we are always right, but we act like it.

The thing is, everyone else knows we are flawed (including our children) so who are we left fooling…ourselves. There is only one perfect being and that is God and the only other roles that are left are sinners and recovering sinners. By our example, let our children know that they will mess up, but instead of trying to cover it up, follow Christ in his humility and own up to your failures and move forward to make better decisions. Sometimes that is the hardest part, because we then are put into a position of being accountable to those we lead and that is a little uncomfortable. Good news is, if we teach our kids this way of life from an early stage, the level of shame and vulnerability we fear in exposing our weaknesses won’t be as daunting because we have already modeled and taught them the way of grace and humility. Jesus tells us those who are grace filled towards others will recipients of it as well.

If your parenting is seasoned with the fruit that comes from one that abides in God, then you have nothing to fear as far as your children using it as a tool against you. But if it is not, then there is no better time to start than now. Do not convince yourself otherwise. Believe it or not, your kids are watching and taking their cues from how you model it to them. So the next time you want to sweep your dirt under the rug, remember your children are watching and they are taking note. But most importantly your Heavenly Father is watching to see if you will follow Him in His example of humility or continue to build your own self-righteous kingdom. Choose the better way.

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